One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5 If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!

p/s: For your info, Wal-Mart is America's largest chain store. I'm not quite sure if they have that scanning thing in Wal-Mart, prolly it was made up for a joke, ;).

9 comments:

Cazzy said...

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! That's a good one. Haha. Ha.

Ha.


Ha.

X said...

Whoever has bad elbow should stopped playing with yourself, ask someone else to do it for you ...:P


Wuahahahahha

ET said...

Freak... LOL!

Jason said...

if such a scanning machine really exists... many doctors will be out of business!

Jason Phoon said...

no way playing with yourself can cause tennis elbow !

Calvin's Wife said...

Cazzy:
huhh?? LOL, sudah naik gila liao is it you? LOL....

X:
Ngahahah, what if you tak laku and no one wants to do it for you? :D Kih kih kih...

ET:
Who? Who??

Jason:
LOL, yes indeed, well, must ask my stepdad ater if such machine in around in Wal Mart :)

Jason Phoon:
LOL, mana gua tau jek? I dont have an elephant trunk on me to play with... :P

guaisaujai said...

Hahahaa, where got such machine lar..

ya u dunhav elephant trunk...huhuhu...but u should know wan wor...hahaha, don't ya?

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Got this mechine meh? i want to try! I got orang utan urine sample wan! Have a nice day!

Simple American said...

I have looked for this machine at several Wal-marts. No luck finding it so far.

Cute joke! Too bad Wal-mart does not have lawyers.