1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

2) NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !

3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name..... The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking name of his country and his mistress ask him "is it in dear?"...

4) RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts and 1 tea-spoon of starch!

5) ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"

6) SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant. Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service

7) HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy and
Wife on the cover of "missing persons"

8) SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

9) GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do
you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

10) DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

11) VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl. On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.




*adapted from the internet - email

15 comments:

Cazzy said...

That Arab Man one damn FARRRRRNEY la!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Doesn't matter, sometimes even CAMEL! wtf!

Haha!

X said...

Finally, the lame jokes are here..i like the swimsuit one....hairy and the diary section ...wukakakakak.

Kenny Ng said...

haha... another classic jokes! I still can laugh after read it again.

Nux V said...

i used to collect jokes but never came across these..well, these are funny. I enjoy reading them ;-)

ET said...

Lame... hahahahaha... but shiok!

The virgin onez... ROFLMAO!

Iced Nyior said...

starch? but i tot it was protein...hehehehe

Russ said...

I always look forward to your Saturday lame jokes... hahaha

Not to mention your food and nonsense adds.. where do I vote u for 'Most Happening Female type Blog'?? hehe, of course mine wont be the most happening male's blog lar, with people like JeffOoi & Kennysia around :P

Huei said...

hahahahah i like the man fatter than woman wan!!!

iwan c.m.n. said...

I like the arab one, warhkehkeh..!

Princess Eileen said...

I like all the jokes.... funny... kekeke

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

I like no7!!!How nice if that happen to me! Have a nice day Evie! Do post up ur Oz trips!

Calvin's Wife said...

Cazzy:
LOL... yeah.. imagine he's doin the camel.. wahahha.. LOL

x:
LOL.. tsk...

Kenny Ng:
LOL, hope you enjoyed.. ;)

Nux V:
Thanks, will post up more on every Saturday. :D

ET:
LOL... eh, you use back your old blogger is it? :P

Iced Nyior:
Wahahahah... bengonng... yes yes it is loadsa protein.. LOL

Russ:
Hi there ;).. LOL.. no larh am not even qualified yet for any award. :P I am happy to be at my current level. :P .. Just nice.. wahahaa

Huei:
LOL... hmmm... I think I have to like that one too then.. :P

Iwan CMN:
LOL... its damn funny right? Hahaha

Princess Eileen:
;) Hope you had enjoyed it!

Hor ny AngMoh:
Hahaha... as usual hor*ny... :P ;)

ET said...

Yea lor. Read my latest post?

Simple American said...

#12) Even if he remembers cannot do anything either.

So farnee. Brightened up my sour Monday.

Calvin's Wife said...

ET:
Yah read liao, LOL... chill darling...

Simple American:
Hahahaha oh yeaaa... its not that he can get his lil bro up without some help eh? :P