Tomorrow I will not be in to post my Saturday jokes so I'll do it today larh. ;) Scared I cannot wake up to do it tomorrow wahahaha, cause tonight I have an appointment to play mahjong. Mana tau after I finish them game in the wee hours, sien lor have to wake up early just to post jokes. :P

Weekend is here FINALLY, I think today's week went by quite slow and dull, bored and so long the days... it's like you'd look at the clock and it shows 2pm and for a moment longer when you'd think 2 hour had pass, the clock shows you 2.50pm .... (=_=)" must be the rainy cold weather.... Well, since weekend is already here, that makes Perth trip at next weekend!! I need to start packing stuff and organize all my traveling documents... just in case of last minute's oh-forgot-to-bring-shit.

Also, I am definitely looking forward to see Resident Evil's Extinction which would be out in cinemas on the 5th of October. Also Princcie, I have bad news for you. :( I cannot go on the 5th ler girl, I got family dinner. :( Maybe after I come home can mou? That would make another night's out for you in that month :D. Sorry I can't go... sucks eh... :( Just when I had that fire in me, a pail of water just kasi tuang on my api and kasi asap... deng.

Anyway, here is my jokes, someone forwarded to me to my email, I thought it was funny and kinda ngam so I sahre with you peeps larh. You guys have fun for finally getting over with this week, and go give yourself a nice spa treatment... what? Your gaji sudah keluar mah... kih kih kih...


Introducing to you, The Malaysian Drivers

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: IPOH driver
(walau weh, where got, me Ipoh mali wan okay, Ipoh people drive very slow got lah, not violent, as for me, I adapted the KL drivers style liao, ganas and always in a rush, but at the same time considerate also, wakaka)

2. One hand on wheel, one hand out the window with cigarette: KEPONG driver
(WAHAHAA, this one really ngam, all those ah bengs like to roll down window while smoking ciggs and on their cheap stereo damn 9 loud while tapping on their accelerator at the traffic lights, AHAHAHHA... )

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: DOWNTOWN KUALA LUMPUR driver.
(LOL, this one I've seen many times in KL, kasi hantam the middle finger only, no need give face, so vulgar, Kih kih kih, I think I only did that twice so far)

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on parang, foot solidly on accelerator: JOHOR driver.
(Hmm, this one I don't know, must ask Namawee liao, hehehe, but I didn't hear him mentioning bout drivers like this in Muar, so... dunno?)

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, hands-free on the lap: BANGSAR driver.
(I have nothing against Bangsar drivers, yet, so far so good whenever I'm driving around Bangsar area... )

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake,quivering in terror: FOREIGNER, driving in MALAYSIA.
(................. more like foreigner passengers in a taxi, wakakaka)

7. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, talking on cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SUBANG JAYA DRIVER.....on the Federal Highway!!!
(Hahahahaha, really ah Subang peeps? LOL, bumper to bumper crawl always... kesian really)

8. One hand on wheel, one hand on passengers head rest, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing rambutans or durian shells out the window: KARAK HIGHWAY ; KUANTAN driver.
(Waseh, both feet on a pedal ah? Road so windy, so hero nyer... I drive there also kia kia tampuk )

9. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, READY-TO-KILL attitude, rear window stickers read "Make my day", beer cans on floor, wedding ribbon still attached to antenna: CONSTRUCTION SITE....PUCHONG driver!
(LOL, taiko Puchong, Puchong drivers also similar to Kepong's but worst, in Kepong all ah bengs young young wan, in Puchong all ah bengs are the Uncles old old wan... LOL, always go karaoke and sing "Xiao Wei" wan, AHAHAHAH, how I know? My father one of them larh LOL)

10.One hand on the handphone, another hand picking nose, One leg on the dash board, another leg crossed on the seat with a beer can in the middle ~~ turning anywhere he likes, parking anywhere he likes, in fact, driving anywhere he likes. aaahhh..... this is a heaven for drivers...... welcome to PENANG!
(LOL on picking nose, I've never encounter that in Penang but in KL got la, but in fact, Penang drivers very ganas and as you know, Penang road all one way nia, so, if you salah turn and you suddenly slow down because of that, you'll be greeted with horns and the taiko look, :P)

11. Two hands gripping tightly to the wheel, eyes glued on the windscreen, alternately stepping on the accelerator and brakes every 5 seconds. WOMAN DRIVER!
(Tsk, that wan all P lesen wan okay... not all woman drivers sucks, in fact there are women drivers who are better than males... cis)

10 comments:

Jason Phoon said...

I am definitely a KL driver ..

wow , it's been 3 months since I drove :(

John said...

Hmmm... how come none describes me? (the last time me lah...)

12. One hand on steering, one on handbrake, right pedal tekan habis, left leg standby on brake. Always within inches away from other cars, cornering at high speeds, takes emergency lane frequently, never used flashing or horn: Ex-speed demon from Kuching

Kih kih kih...

Nux V said...

haha...seems like Bangsar is a place with good drivers around. So far, in Klang Valley, the best place to drive is at Bandar Utama, the worst is in Serdang, which is very much similar to those in Penang. Tis is just my personal view.

X said...

*Throws...durian shell, rambutan seed outta car :P Blurrpppp....smells of durian in the car ...:P


NO offense, but i think worst drivers are from JB, KNN, almost got me killed twice ....#$%^$@#%^&(

Calvin's Wife said...

Jason Phoon:
LOL... i think u can drive in Aussie with our MAlaysian driving license.. try it :D

John:
Waseh... AHAHAHA damn cialat la you, so the ganas.. tsk, what number plate eh ur car, let me spot u and give u a big major honk WAKAKAK...

Nux:
Serdang?? Huh... the road all kecik kecik wan... and the road very pening... 0_o every morning sure traffic heavy.. tsk...

X:
Wakakakka.. do you do that? eat rambutans in your car? :P

I've never been to JB for quite sometime but I know those little roads to Segamat is scary, and there's a big sign there, Mama's of all sign wahahaha damn 9 huge wan... LOL

X said...

depends on the season, during chinese new year i throw mandarin orange skins...wukakakka



JB drivers drive like cibai only...

Princess Eileen said...

It is okay, Evie. I probably got another one end of the month. Wakaka.... how come my friends more interested to ask me for this kind of events? I need to evaluate myself ler. I will update you. OIIIIII i also wanna play mahjong... so long puasa de :P But I play 3 person one. Wukakaka...

Huei said...

eh! women drivers are better than men! some men drive sibeh slow >.< blegh!! heheheh

i kenot tahan penang drivers..u put ur signal for 50years indicating that u wana turn..and ppl behind will accelerate and prevent you from turning! hahahahha

Calvin's Wife said...

X:
Wahahaha wuliow it must be u larh who always dirty the highways wakakakak.. tsk bad example LOL...

Princess Eileen:
: i still would really love to go ya know.. tsk.. wasting cheh... I also know how to play 3 kaki mahjong niaa, wakakaka...

Huei:
Yes i agree with you on that... some men drive like numbskulls.. damn...

And yes penang drivers kinda BTC kakakaka... but they are very good drivers i heard :P

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

That is why I consider KL a dangerous place! Even KL ladies drive like michael sumarker! Have a nice day!