Now that I am officially a “wife”, not that I wasn’t before the wedding, but more appropriate now after the chinese tradition thingy, I would like to share my thoughts of a “just married wife”.

I have always come across friends who would love sharing their relationship thoughts and problems with me. Not that I chose to be nosy in their relationship but perhaps they trust me as a good friend and maybe it feels good just to voice out problems to a good friend of theirs. I don’t know, but I admit I sometimes do feel weird about this, I could be a love doctor in the making I guess, wukakaka.

Now, the one thing in common I’ve always heard my friends complaining is their partners ain’t what they think they are. Hmmm... tell you frankly, to know a person well is when you live with them in the same house. You would eventually see for yourself the good, the bad and the ugly in your partner. From the toilet seat’s placement to the dirty dishes hanging around in the sink for weeks. From then on, both of you gotta learn how to compromise, give and take responsibilities which keeps the stay-in relationship going. If you succeeded living together without a scratch on your body and soul, congrats, mission one accomplished.

The other common problem that I myself experience is; the dummy partner. Normally, the dummies are the guys, the usual ‘dungut’ case. When I say dummy I don’t really mean that they are stupid but more likely senseless and … dummy, like a mannequin! Most guys just ain’t romantic, they aren’t particular people, and they just don’t remember dates and the little sweet things girls do for them. They just don’t, which makes them heartless beings. But do not fret, this is what yin and yang is all about, all God’s natural creation. Men are born as such and this is the part where a woman is important in a man’s life. We, being the forgiving beings; the gentle, patient and understanding creature, shall slowly educate men the art of romanticism and treasuring. Since all of us know men are dummies, we shall not hint but tell them straight into their faces, gently and with love of course. And if they still don’t get the picture, slap only laa apa lagiiiiiiiii… wukakakaka, joking joking.

Then there’s the flirtatious partner. This would be a one hell of a hot satisfying partner if he or she restricts it to you and you only. If this applies to every living creature he or she sees, then my dear friend, it is time for you to bring out the whip and show your partner who is the ‘daddy’ or ‘mummy’, whichever applies. Voice out of what you think, tell your partner you hate it and tell him or her it hurts. If your partner still ignores you, try again and again and again till you feel like punching them in the face or for this case, the crotch. If it doesn’t work, then my dear friend, it’s time to do the ultimate. Either you do exactly what your partner did to you, or just dump him or her and get on with your life. No point wasting time with a slut, it will only waste your devotion and years for them.

For a person who is low esteem in looks; like me, you gotta go searching what is your best special selling point and flaunt it all the way. It may be your kindness, that special smile of yours, your gentle touch, your deep emotional concern for a person, your respect for beings, your boobies, your big hidden ‘Joe’, anything! Remember, this has to be real and not faked out. Nobody likes a fake, I personally hate it myself. No matter what, just be yourself, it is not always about the looks one had to have. It’s all about the mutual feelings you and your partner share, the inner you that attracts.

Not everyone shares similarity in interests, not every married couple has the same interests between them. I and hubby do have a few similar interests, but not all. I personally think that this adds in more choices and fun in your life, instead of doing same old things over and over again between you couples. Life would have been very much dull. For example, hubby used to love board skating, I don’t, but I don’t mind following him around and learn something new, take a look at what’s it all about, and have fun! Or let’s just put it this way, music for example; he likes hard alternative music, and I think it’s annoying, but I don’t mind listening to them on the player once in a while. In fact, I had taken likings for a few songs myself. Did it do any harm to learn how to respect his personal likings? Nope, instead, it added extra options and fun to my life. What I’m trying to point out here is, a couple doesn’t have to share similar interests, so if you and your partner do not have any, don’t have to worry, just open up for more options and fun.

Men are born with egos, not that women don’t, they do, but not like men’s. They can be irritating at times, but that is just them. Don’t be afraid to tell them off at their face. They need to learn how to control the machoness in them. Tell them it’s not a turn on and it could affect your perception towards him, and perhaps the relationship.

Guys, seriously, you need to learn how to control your ego. It is not macho and it is a totally turn off. If you’ve had many past relationships which didn’t last you long, seriously, it must have been your ego. Push your ego a few level down, be understanding, give the same respect your girl gives you and I’m sure all things will be fine at the end of the day.

As for the girls, I know it is the new century where men and women are equal within each other but remember this, naturally, it is not. Having that thinking in your mind will not make you a superior woman but will only make your life a devastating one. Plentiful of successful working women out there with such thinking conquers but leads a sad life. I’m sure you’ve met one or two along your way, their love life is just another sad song. Same goes to the men, money and power is nothing when it comes to love.

Let’s us talk about money too girls, how can we ever leave out money in a relationship, money plays the biggest role in every couple’s relationship, so some said. Yes, without money life is just boring. You can never buy that extra entertainment, fun and status to adorn your life with when you’re broke. But how long can money buy love for each and everyone for you? If buying you designer bags and clothes is love to you, then I’ll envy you. If buying you big houses, luxury cars and air tickets to Europe is love to you, then I’ll envy you. You’re in love with materialism, not to the person who satisfies your love, good job. How long will your beauty youth buy you pretty girls materialism? And when you’re out of beauty youth then what? Get dumped and then go out and seek for true love when you’re all wrinkled up and ugly with a bad lust for money? All the best mate! I smell lonely friendless old maid living in a rented apartment full of debts, phewww envy me!

Girls, life ain’t bout money. You girls know this yourself, youth will eventually go away one day. Unless you’re married to some rich guy, yes, you’ve secured financial in your life but have you secured a real husband in your life? Most of rich guys are, I’m sorry to say, big bastards. They flirt and seek for young fun, and as for you, pray hard he won’t throw you out from the house soon.

A sweet relationship is all about giving.. it's like Christmas, giving is good furthermore it feels good to give, don't it? Understanding and respect each other, be kind and generous with your love... most of all, be truthfully with each other AND please give some space, let your partner breathe once in a while, let them go out and have some legal fun, wukakakaka...

To tell you the truth, I've been drafting my blog posts from my office when I'm free. My office is internet-less at the moment, and I'm pretty busy going out of the office bringing in sales for the company, hence.... I rarely blog nor Facebook or MSN that much. Just bear with my long winded posts once in a while, it's pretty sad when you have no one to talk to you, wukakakkaka... sigh... Well, till another long winded post coming up, taa~!!!

p/s: can't wait for our small mini road trip down to Sitiawan.... SEAFOOD HERE I COME!!!!!! Oh how much I miss Sitiawan's seafood. :P


Be3^Be3 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Be3^Be3 said...

zzzz.... punya panjang....
wakakka.... hmmm... I think i am one hell of a lover... not materialistic just pure honest loving I am giving and was given back by my man...
and the dungut part ...very true..especially for Cina man... wakkakak....
HOpe u get lots of sales.. in time to get enough money to buuy me a nice handbag from Nek's for my BIRTHDAY in march!!wkakakak

QQAlice said...

I have been reading your blog for awhile now..found it through nicole's blog. FOr this time i would like to make a comment. First of all congratulation to you and your hubby..wishing both of you living happily ever after... u know like those fairly tail story.. from this post I totally agree with your thoughts. especially how you mentioned about MEN....from my marriage...i definately learnt one big thing is that MEN hardly think as women. Moreoever, they see and think things only from the surface but not trying to dig in further..and thats what you actually mean SENSELESS. of the time they say or comment something that is totally senseless. They are like comparing an apple with a durian !!! Alot of the time their senseless can make you speechless and breathless. I swear coz i experienced that.

Neverthless, if you love your man and he truly in love with you despite all these consequences, I reckon it is worth to fight for your life. Do the best to fix it, to compromise, to sacrifice coz you know it worths it at the end of the day.

Evelyn from your blog I sense that you are a person who really down to earth, and a very predictable person. From how you DIY most of the things for your wedding and the outcome I also could tell that you are such a strong and capable person. And I am sure you know you have found the right soulmate. And I am sure that you are aware no marriage is perfect...those little little conflicts are absolutely normal..its just a way of process of getting to know your partner even better. Arguments do improve your a positive way! All the best evelyn and should be still in your honeymoon mood !!

Carysse said...

woottt --- dummy guys!! I totally agreed with that. hahaha.

U're going Sitiawan??? it's my hometown wei... haha. When u're going??? Sitiawan got nice seafood meh? How come I'm not aware of? Haha.. usually I'll go tanjung sepat/pulau carey for seafood!!

Nux V said...

Great that u have made it and now u sounds just like a profesional 'wife'..offering 'wise'advice to those who r stil in doubt about their relationship. There are just too many things to learn and compromise when it comes to live together as husband/wife. Again, comgrats!

zewt said...

sometimes, a woman's ego can be quite bad too.